Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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