with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
