I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize