Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
