So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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