before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
