what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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