And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
