I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i love accidental penises.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
