he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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