I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
