never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Gay?
German.
Pity.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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