I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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