i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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