The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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