That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
