I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
