There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize