Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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