Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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