That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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