You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
