I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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