I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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