you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
