my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize