Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
