i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
