I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
