Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
