I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
