I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's blow job season.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
