Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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