i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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