I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
