Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
