Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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