Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Even my vagina gasped.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
