is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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