Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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