I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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