I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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