Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
