Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
