so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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