you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
