Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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