got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize