Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
