I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
