I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
