i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
