i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
