If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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