I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
