better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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