I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Mom said you looked used
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
