I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The air was thick with penises
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
