remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
